Reviews Review: ‘Silent Blood Night’ Feels Like a Throwback to 70’s Sexploitation Published 8 months ago on February 10, 2018 By Gareth Paterson Share Tweet Silent Blood Night is to horror what ‘The Room’ is to drama. It is laughably terrible. The “actors” (for lack of a better word) all deliver their English dialogue in hilariously awkward Austrian accents incapable of pronouncing “v” correctly. This gives the film such a bizarre feel. It’s almost as if the whole thing is a joke, perhaps an homage to ‘Allo, Allo’. But the filmmakers don’t seem self-aware enough for this to be the case. Apparently it was released in 2006 despite having very early digital picture quality akin to VHS. It feels like a throwback to 70’s sexploitation. The philosophy behind the scenes seems to be “we need more T&A!” The overuse of scantily clad actresses is so desperate and excessive that it seems like self-parody. I’d explain the plot but there isn’t one. The nonsensical script made me feel like my mind was being pushed through a cheese grater and into a trash bin. The pacing drags on terribly. It was quite a struggle to make it to the end. It was very tempting to turn it off halfway through and write my review regardless. No one would have known. Unfortunately I decided to be honest and watch all 84 crap-tastic minutes. It’s time I’ll never get back. Without the unintentional comedy and some over the top Troma style violence it would be unwatchable. I feel sorry for everyone behind this movie. They tried their best to make their own Austrian version of an American horror film. They were limited by a low budget, outdated equipment and an incompetent cast. They made Silent Blood Night as a serious horror movie. It did make me scream, only with laughter. Why would anyone make such a ridiculously bad movie? I smell a ‘Springtime for Hitler’ style money laundering scheme. It has to be the only explanation, surely. I’ll end my review with a quote from someone else’s. I went on IMDb to get some background information, hoping some context might help me better understand and process the garbage I had just watched. Instead I found a very accurate description of Silent Blood Night by one user: “It looks like it was filmed by a horse and edited with a potato masher.” Related Topics: Up Next Review: ‘Hellraiser: Judgement’ Gives Promise for the Franchise to Continue Don't Miss Review: Lionsgate’s ‘Jigsaw’ is One of the Best ‘Saw’ Sequels in Years Continue Reading Advertisement You may like Click to comment Facebook Advertisement Dark Universe Presents https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t0T8C3JIJLA&t=22s Twitter Follow @DUHDNews Advertisement Latest Popular Videos News2 hours ago Cavitycolors to Celebrates 40 Years of ‘Halloween’ With Soy Wax Candle and Mystery Enamel Pin Blu-Ray & DVD2 days ago ‘Urban Legend’ and ‘Urban Legends: Final Cut’ Slash onto Blu-Ray via Scream Factory News3 days ago Michael Myers Searches for Dana in New ‘Halloween’ Clip Blu-Ray & DVD4 days ago Colin Eggleston’s Australian Horror ‘Long Weekend’ Getting Special Edition (UK) Blu-Ray News4 days ago Freddy Krueger Fan Documentary “FredHeads” Gets an Official Trailer News4 weeks ago Eerie New Cinemex Trailer and Featurette for ‘Halloween’ Show That the Boogeyman is Real Music4 weeks ago Listen to John Carpenter’s Stunning First Track “The Shape Returns” for New ‘Halloween’ News2 weeks ago ‘Halloween’ Writer Danny McBride Has Ideas for Potential Sequel News1 week ago Rob Zombie Shares New Photo of Sid Haig as Captain Spaulding in ‘Three From Hell’ Blu-Ray & DVD3 weeks ago Tom Savini’s 1990 ‘Night of the Living Dead’ Remake is Available Again on U.S. Blu-Ray Advertisement Trending Horror Lists3 years ago The Many Different Michael Myers Masks Used In Halloween: H20 News1 year ago Todd McFarlane Makes An Announcement on His ‘Spawn’ Script News1 year ago Photo of Doug Bradley Back in Pinhead Makeup for First Time in 12 Years! Blu-Ray & DVD1 year ago Arrow Video Bringing J.S. Cardone’s 1982 Slasher ‘The Slayer’ to Blu-Ray! News1 year ago George A. Romero to Bring ‘Pint of the Living Dead’ to Ottawa ComicCon News1 year ago Official “Friday the 13th: The Game” Release Date Finally Announced! News1 year ago New Photos From Adam Ripp’s Demonic Horror Flick ‘Devil’s Whisper’ News1 year ago Spike’s “The Mist” New Series Trailer Features Gore and Scares!