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Review: ‘Psycho Goreman’ (2021) is a Nearly Perfect Movie

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Review: 'Psycho Goreman' (2021) - AaaaAaAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!

Folks, it’d be easy to think I’m exaggerating. Because the words you’re about to read might seem, ya know, hyperbolic. It might seem like I’m playing up my feelings to get more eyes on a new release. The truth? I have no stake in this game. If this movie makes a billion dollars (which it deserves), I won’t see penny #1. And that’s fine. I didn’t make this movie, I had nothing to do with it. But good Lord, people. This movie is incredible in ways that I had heretofore only dreamed of. If you want level-headed, intellectualized reviews, go check out rogerebert.com, where they CRIMINALLY gave this thing a star and a half. Go ahead, I’ll wait.

I really gotta point out that I have nothing to do with this movie. That’s important for two reasons:

1) To reiterate, I won’t profit from what will clearly be a bright future for this flick and its creators

2) If I have nothing to do with this movie, how did they make one so personally catered to me?

Now I’m positive this movie (it’s called PG: Psycho Goreman, so there you go) will delight everybody. I mean that sincerely. I think that this one will be enjoyed by a wider and more appreciative audience than any recent horror release. But what I’d like to know is how in the hell did these people make a movie that feels like it was made just for me? Watching this thing (which you can also do on VOD platforms RIGHT NOW) made me seriously consider whether somebody had stolen my brain. In a good way! If scientists from around the world came together and monitored my brain activity (thoughts, dreams fantasies, etc.), and turned that data into a feature length film, they would have made this exact movie.

Psycho Goreman 2021 Still

Here’s a little context. I am a 90’s baby. My mom used to wake me up from my nap by saying “Bill, Power Rangers is on!” Action figures were my currency, do you understand? Terminator 2: Judgement Day is my favorite movie of all time. Practical effects give me all the best feelings. And it’s like somebody took these specific qualities, put ‘em into a blender, and this movie came out. I’m scared somebody has bugged my brain.

PG: Psycho Goreman, you’ll want to know, is a movie about a hyper-violent ancient alien warrior who is banished to another realm forever. That other realm, it turns out, is ours! It’s earth! The place that’s filled with puny humans! Two of those, Luke and Mimi, are just human enough to make the terrible mistake of unearthing this banished warrior from his earthly tomb. They dig a big hole, and boom, crazy alien monster is uncovered. Are they scared? A little, but they’re also smart enough to find this glowing orb thing that controls him. It’s kinda like finding a wolf but still being able to domesticate it because you brought ham.

So now, Luke and Mimi, still pretty shaken up, find out that they have the power to make this monster do whatever they want. First? They just have him sit. And talk. And tell them his origin story. They name him, too. Mimi (who is just the best part of this movie) insists on naming this beast “Psycho Goreman,” or “PG” for short. Now the guy is practically their pet. Mimi isn’t afraid of anything in the whole universe, so for her, it’s like they’ve got this big old monster puppy who does their bidding.

Psycho Goreman 2021 Movie Still

I gotta take some time now to talk about Mimi. The whole movie hinges on this little kid’s tone. Because you can’t have these kids frightened to death of Psycho Goreman, or there’s no movie. It’s a completely different story at that point. Instead, Nita-Josée Hanna, the young actress, indels this character with such nuanced attitude and believable sass that it elevates the entire movie. So we have the only match for this ancient warrior alien monster, and guess who she is? A little girl! It’s amazing watching her put people in their place. And even though she’s probably 20 years my younger, I wanted to adopt all her phrases and pass off her wordings as my own. Cool kid, highly recommend.

So anyway back to the monster. PG’s not the only one. He’s got his old gang, he’s got the board of directors who sent him to earth, and he’s got this evil alien lady who wants to destroy him once and for all. This movie is chock full of monsters, and the creature design is amazing. Every single monster would make a great toy. Just instantly recognizable and iconic looks. PG serves fierce looks and lusts over hunky boys and it is all perfect.

Let’s take a moment to focus on these practical effects. What makes them so sought-after within the horror community? Well, that’s a big question that probably deserves a multi-faceted answer. But I’m just a guy, so I’ll say this: They’re friggin’ sweet, and that tangibility adds a level of groundedness to this otherworldly tale. I’ll admit that I spend a lot of my time daydreaming about movie making. PG: Psycho Goreman, with its rubber suits and physical effects, make all of those dreams seem real. Because these are all real things you can reach out and touch.

Psycho Goreman 2021 Image

I think that PG: Psycho Goreman is a nearly perfect movie. And while I’m so excited it exists, I’m even more excited for the work it will inspire.

The guy who made this thing, Steven Kostanski, seems like a real decent-enough dude. His work speaks for itself. He did a new Leprechaun, and he did The Void, which started at Carpenter before blasting into the stratosphere. The guy has such a clear love for the movies of his childhood. Particularly, he seems to love the movies in the horror and sci-fi sections in his then-local video rental spot. Psycho Goreman is the type of movie you would’ve picked up as a kid and said “What is this and how do I convince my mom to rent it for me?” It is sublime.

Find a way to watch PG: Psycho Goreman. It’s on several VOD platforms, along with being available for rent/purchase on Amazon Prime, Google Play, and VUDU.

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